A Christmas Gift

by Oscar Yuill


Posted on October 02, 2018


robot

The perfect gift...

Christmas is coming. Sounds ominous, no? And it is, really. We have actually devised a time of the year when we tell children the lie that, in the middle of the night of December 25th, a very fat man with a predeliction for children will descend through the chimney, imbibe some alcohol, and proceed into the front room to bestow gifts he could only know about through an intricate spy-ring. He resembles, in this sense, any Catholic priest.

On top of this, the presents Father Christmas (not Santa Claus, for this is England, not America) leaves beneath the tree are so seldom pleasing. iPhones are soon broken; socks never worn. Puppies, as it happens, become dogs. With each passing year, Christmas becomes more and more of a chore.

No more. We at Escape Rooms offer our very own bespoke gift vouchers--the perfect Christmas gift. Without having to leave your armchair, let alone thrusting your way through the nightmare spectacle of a Christmas shopping crowd, you can purchase a gift voucher for any of our available games. Choose from Room 33; the Pharaoh's Chamber; Project D.I.V.A; and The Dark Side of the Moon.

Each game is sure to satisfy the peculiarities, fetishes and longings of any relative! The Dark Side of the Moon, for instance, is the perfect opportunity for Granddad to revive his hatred for Nazis. Project DIVA will titillate even the most technologically advanced of millennial grandkids. Pharaoh’s Chamber is for the school teacher in your life (remember Howard Carter, boys and girls?), and Room 33 will delight museum-goers, and fans of both Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Whichever room you book, we recommend leaving creepy uncles at home, and bringing spectacles if indeed you need them. Bon Voyage!

Our award-winning games may last only an hour, but the memory of them will outlast even the toughest over-priced, slave-made iPhone!